I’m the Homideus Gopher

So don’t blame me, right, in most cultures there’s some guy that takes the fall. And that’s the role that I naturally fulfill in Axial cultures. I’m the fall guy, because I assume the role of the classical creature that gets blamed for all the sin. In Jesus religions, this is the slithering snake of Eden.

I just try to maintain a low profile for the most part, but I still get blamed for a lot of sin. The most reason sin that I was blamed for was the most egregious theft of a night-time shawl owned by a Shaolin monk in Seoul. I denied any accusations of claim because I was born to a rich Southwestern family that pioneered a certain taco blend that became moderately famous, wihch exempted me from any comeuppance in theory. In practice, however, even rednecks are fairly particular about their spices. Not just in theory, but in practice as well.

So that’s how I found myself on the Homideous Plane, serving as mouthpiece to a Greens Herald who werthe/wathe appointed to the greens of our golf greens. I just told him that we werse’t to appoint vomitus in our stead, that such would represent the contribution of a long-termed club member if he had nought to participate financially for the monthe.